La TorMenta...

all in a brownie day's work

2010-11-18T21:31:00.002+05:30

again i'm falling in love. like a lovesick teenage boy.

i've many admirers. i admire one of them. the silent one.

to me, a brownie day is a day when you've done what you wanted to,rather than what you're supposed to, and there's no guilt about it.

pleasure is my addiction. what gives me that pleasure changes. everyday..AND probably every moment. that way i'm addicted. and quite mysteriously, NOT addicted either.

too much food is really good once in a way.

being mushy is not idiotic. or gay. it's therapeutic.

today i learned two new things from two interesting sources:

"Mellow is the man
who knows what he's been missing
many, many men
cant see the open road"

"together we stand, divided we fall"

health is infact, everything.

there's never too less time to grab aside to dream. or nap

valley of thoughts. useful, useless, beautiful, good, bad, scary and dreamy. i'd like a hand while i fall in it.

now is great, tomorrow will have a chance to become now, let's wait for it patiently.

who's my soul twin ? i'd like to know.

all in a brownie day's work

tea talk

2010-11-05T18:56:00.005+05:30

pretty wired up i feel.

there are many people, who have come along in these 22 years

who have shown me who i am, what i'm capable of, who have changed my life for better, not for worse.

some i've grown up with, some i've disagreed with, some i've loved and some i've hated passionately.. some great people and some, incompetent people.

stability is pretty much a dream. there is nothing such as stability since everything, i believe, is volatile. our thoughts, our actions and our desires.

this year, things have changed tremendously.

my closest friend and sister has found, in a friend, the man worth committing to, for a lifetime, when he was around her all along for five solid years

parents are preparing to see that little girl grow up and be in the shoes that they were in, 26 years ago.

i'm in my final move of completing the first step towards my dream.

one of my best friends and mentor, is changing job, experimentally. just like a kid. just because he fancies it.

my few close, precious people are branching out into different futures.

i've found a soul sister

i've found love

change is changing me.

now.

birds of a feather flock together

2010-10-28T19:40:00.001+05:30

by all means and laws and facts and rhymes and riddles and words,
explain to me what 'originality' is.

what is originality and creativity if we cannot see them the way they have to be seen ?
what is credit ?
why do we give people credit and why do we seek it ?

mostly, we all seek appreciation.
only, remove the word "mostly" so, you'll be left with the truth.
for that reason, credit exists.

i believe that the roots of originality lie in chance.
what would we be if we were all the same?
since it's the human mind/animal mind that seeks a variety in everything..just everything, right from colors to clothes to seasons to places to mates, what would we be without originality ? NOT human, definitely.

what makes originality, is accident.
creativity, is an accidental arrangement of what you have with you. originality is haphazard.
since you know and see the best example, i'll name our planet. what's 'organized' about nature ? she's random. she's wild.
you won't see the same landscape in two different places. no two pine trees are the same. even identical twins are different !
that's originality. just a planned and beautiful accident.

if it's really an accident and it is random, what credit need we, for what is created (by us?) in a freak accidental moment? for our originality isn't even original.
because, 'randomness' is a copied thought. we're like horses on race tracks. programmed to commit randomness. to randomly arrange things to get something that 'looks' different from the rest, is a copied thought. we are trained, right from the time we're born to know, that randomness will give us something that 'looks' new.
but that, is not originality.. that, is merely an illusion of originality.
seeking originality and pursuing it, by now, wouldn't feel like an awesome idea anymore, with all the hue and cry we make of it.
when we do not know what originality really means, there's no big idea behind chasing something you cannot understand. and for our perception of originality, credit ? i doubt there's a solid base to this.

it is indeed very easy, at such an elementary level of thinking, to say that giving up credit is no big thing, for credit means nothing. however, it isn't that easy to find a person satisfied in their own intention, seeking nothing from anybody else. no appreciation, no approval.
nevertheless, 'credit' is the most useless entity. it's as ridiculous as how badly we need it. in all honesty,i can't stop laughing at how badly i need the credit for things i do, though i know it's absolutely purposeless.

what we must possess for achievement is real ego.
whereas, what we do possess, is phantom ego.. what we put on display. and food for phantom ego, is credit.
behind that facade, there's fear.
anger is a part of phantom ego. it arises when we cannot digest a fact or when we cannot discard useless opinions, and it hits us at our insecurities. you cannot fight the truth, nor should we ideally have those insecurities to regard useless opinions as significant.
to be insecure, is not human. it's stupid. and to believe that it's human, is even more stupid. because, somebody's told you that too, right ? why blindly believe in something that's not original ?
why should satisfying others satisfy us ? why should we look unto another's smile for approval ? another's nod, to be sure ? what's to be sure about, when you know what you want ?
there are no original thoughts, because we live in fear of defying.
things we do looking for everybody else's approval is not selfless, it's just being insecure in self. it dissolves the purpose of existing.
it doesn't make us. it kills 'us'

every step you take from now, think of how much of 'you' there is, in it

aarthi

happiness lies in ..l..

2010-04-11T11:41:00.004+05:30

somehow it's time we get done with being all tolerant :) maybe it's time for a change!
something fresh, something new

the solution i've realised, to unreasonable happenings and people, is only and only the middle finger.
after a lot of thinking and well, i must admit, wasting significant time and energy..i found an answer

the secret to happiness doesn't lie in putting everything out on a clean sheet of bond paper.
but is definitely the appropriate use of the f word. followed by 'off'.
to those who stop and question you when they shouldn't.
the sensible ones won't question you without necessity.
a lot of people already know this and must be smiling in agreement, already
to those who don't...
hi !

there are 4 rules in testing times-
do not be answerable to anyone who doesn't deserve your answerability
stop whining..its boring
smile.
dress like a charm

life ROCKS that way
-a

taped shut.

2010-03-27T16:48:00.006+05:30

dad brought me up telling me stories about unnecessary rules and going by them, living on them..examining them piece by piece, and following them..there are people who believe in that kind of life
yes, he's told me it's all rubbish.

it is.

i've heard that and laughed about it, a million times, hardly knowing how it affects each one of us.
as i'm growing up, i can see it everywhere.

the line between code of conduct/code of living and redtapism is anything but THIN.
imagine a law for inhaling. for walking. for eating. that's what the world seems to boil down to, at times !
there's paperwork for the most miniscule of things, a certain way you HAVE TO behave. a certain way you're cut and moulded against all your steadfast protests. a method you must conform to, and pledge to stand by !
and then you become a part of this sordid system. get into it, and grill the rest of the world, with the flow.
most of us don't mind it, though we hate it. and THAT is the attitude that nurtures something as dirty as unnecessary bureaucracy.
well, some of us manage to escape unharmed by that kind of living. but at the end of one decade, we can count these "some of us" with just our 10 fingers

darling, sometimes rules are necessary. so we all don't go mad. so we don't lose track of progress. so that justice lasts.
but that's it.

somewhere along the way, rules lost their very purpose.
there are purposeless purposes.. unreasonable reasons
and anything important, ALWAYS involves redtapism. (my post-intern seniors know it best, right now :-) )
redtapism was born with ego of foolish people who cannot take advantage of anything other than power or position to advance to superiority.

sure there are a lot of people around here who are experiencing deja vous..

i'm not going ahead and asking why there are so many red tapes around here, the reason is clear.
modern feudalism at its pinnacle..hah !

it's actually a pretty good world that's making me wanna go on, every minute.

i'm learning :-) ...

41° 39' 50" North / 83° 33' 19" West

2009-12-31T19:21:00.013+05:30

her longing was his..
his wish, hers
he is the earth, and she is the sky
they're both infinite..
they were as far as up and down
but they met over the horizon

like a dew drop on a cold morning grass
as unique and separate as the dew drop and the leaf
and as together as anything could be
that's how they are.

in that space between them,
love emerged.

they're one.

the ONLY ones with the sixth sense ?

2009-11-03T11:18:00.011+05:30

so...what's that sixth sense we have that none other than our species has ?
do we even have a sixth sense ?
or is that just a feel-good term to prove our utmost superiority to ourselves as a species ? in that very purpose of proving, we've failed. no one other than our own species gives a damn about who has a sixth sense or who is superior. if you were to tell an animal about it, it wouldn't even understand. not because it's so stupid. but because, that sense and you are so insignificant that it doesn't even matter. try telling a tiger, face to face.."i've a sixth sense, i've a sixth sense"
ha-ha.. you won't even be alive to see the next minute anyway. then you didn't even have COMMON sense.

many great men, in their times, have described the sixth sense as a 'special' sense...maybe an instinct !? no !
other animals have the same instincts as we do.
intellect ? what rubbish. intellect is detrimental. it's the shovel to our own graves.
could it be 'that' thing ? oh wait..WHAT thing?
i've heard from so many people that it could be a sense of humor !
so...animals don't have a sense of humor, huh?
i'm sure all the nature-lovers disagree. 1000 percent.

of course animals have a humor ! probably better than ours..and more animated.
how do cubs, kittens, and puppies play? how do dogs play ?.. if they dont have a sense of humor
have you seen puppies chase you the moment you take a quick step ahead and run? and then halt with playful, expecting eyes the moment you stop..
cubs and kittens run right behind colored objects (that scientifically proved 'black&white' vision theory for animals...i still have my own doubts. nature's not so stupid to make them totally colorblind after making them so vibrant and colorful....it's like giving us sweets and surgically removing our taste buds ! science is in its infancy anyway..i don't know what it can prove.)

anyway, that's how erratic the mind is. it jumps from one place to another.
back to the 'sense of humor', i've a sparrow with his nest at my living-room window. this guy whistles back at me when i whistle at him. he holds this rope at the window and slides down with one leg..worth watching atleast once in a lifetime. if that's not humor, nothing in the world is.
birds have a sense of humor..they have their share of fun. all the time. they don't wear watches, they don't believe in deadlines. they live. live for the moment. and sing for the moment. maybe that's the basis to a really good 'sense' of humor. not just about performing funny standups for people..animals don't care about all that. and watching these comedy shows on tv !!! they just show us how shockingly large the scarcity of happiness in our lives is.

as kids, we did stupid things and laughed at stupid things. anything and everything humored us. the reason is...that we were not stupid. we were simply uninhibited. we laughed when we wanted to laugh and did what we thought made us happy. now as we grow up, these rules. and curbing. and oh, the absolute fright of being called a kid !
when we don't 'live', we don't laugh.
and to think we're busy spending our leisure time staring at inanimate bmw's outside car showrooms. even worse, on computer monitors.
if you're really missing some nature in your life, now's the time to reassess it..it'll show you what a sense of humor REALLY is.
i'll get back to where i began

6th sense ? what's that ? and what's that ?

p.s. : post inspired by happy people

we became.

2009-10-20T18:20:00.003+05:30

define 'define'.
define 'wannabe'.

choose between wannabe and cool

it's wannabe to wanna be cool
is it cool to wannabe? haha.. surprisingly, yes.

2009-10-13T13:18:00.005+05:30

we love to teach....we love to preach..

....it's as beautiful to learn :-)

"you learn something everyday if you pay attention"
Ray LeBlond

hypnotism

2009-07-05T11:24:00.006+05:30

i'm so impulsive now..it's almost like i've been suggested to say these things after listening to their music

nusrat fateh ali khan..
what did you do to be able to sing a song like mann ki lagan so beautifully

kailash kher...simple enough to take your breath away
jagjit singh..
flute ramani..bombay jayashree..
i don't think god could bless anyone more

floyd and mark knopfler are sitting around, smiling. come back.

doctor's day ? yes..

2009-07-01T21:31:00.005+05:30

doctors.
well...in the making, but eventually doctors, right ?
we had our day off. after attending the regulars..posting, lectures
there was bandra worli sealink..toll-free drive through 30 mins of cars and traffic
a bunch of carefree people, flavor of the month (remaining-of-the-month) gelatos, rainy weather and donuts. wholesome day, nice company, and empty pockets

rarely, empty pockets feel nice. like when the day has been worth spending on :)

2009-06-28T20:12:00.002+05:30

mi carino
are you really busy ?
or is all this just naatak
nevertheless, wish me

more.

2009-06-26T21:13:00.006+05:30

too many things.

first of all, i'm busy. but that doesn't mean i dont do the things that i like doing most - talking to close friends, hunting down the sale shops, and spending time on the net.
if there'd be 5 things i can't live without, i'd say thats too less, make it 10 things. internet would be no.2
internet for...mail access- number one priority. visiting some new crazy website everyday, learning more things. ivillage-hotspot for all bored women.
chatting (which, thanks to some mahaan vip's isn't happening as often) and sudarshan's blog is far from updated. it's downdated actually..internet fossil material you may call it..so the only brainstorming i enjoy reading is also fast asleep
my blog. only thing left

a few days back someone was telling me that the current govnment has lowest ever inflation in history. i told him, use your brain, grandpa..so what ? what just happened 3 days back to the prices ? french beans have never costed 68 bucks a kg. all these years.
food inflation. human deflation. how inverse !
if you want to know about country economics na, dont watch news channels or read big papers. ask bhaajiwalas and housewives, they'll give you master education. they deal with the first indicators of a dire economic state..food prices.

on to the other things..
it's rained heavy today. which is why i'm so hyper
beautiful calming day and a welcome break from the heat.
i just hope mumbai is geared up better than 26/7

more photography this monsoon. more raindrops, more flowers and leaves, more fresh greens, more nonsense and narcissistic pictures.

dinner time

it's getting swiney in here

2009-06-25T12:33:00.003+05:30

ok, swine flu. i'm done with the news you're making and it's about time we got you outta here

1) just to be on the safe side, it's better to know the symptoms.. cuz it's not that it isn't a cause of worry..
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/swineflu/a/409_symptoms.htm

2) it's a flu-virus like many other flu-viruses, and we don't want any new health predicament. atleast not more than what we have.
like we need diseases from pigs.

3) screening at the intl. airport is the single most amazing step our nation has finally taken towards controlling a disease from some other place. so it's not really a pain in the neck and i think we ought to appreciate it, rather than crib about 10 mins more taken to clear the gates
(by-product, reason for joy : for a change we'll put the over-scrutinizers through scrutiny)

4) the universal rule : any funny symptoms, contact your doctor asap

21

2009-06-23T21:33:00.002+05:30

if they say sweet 16, i wonder what they say about 21 :)
there isn't a better age to arrive at !
it's the beginning of a new subset of life. responsibility...oh u can be a child if u wanna :) no one's ever gonna stop u. don't rush into responsibility...it's enough if u have it in mind. no one wants it on paper

save all the undue paranoia a lot of people go through.
21 is beautiful
young. stunning.

deja vous

2009-06-10T08:29:00.009+05:30

(monsoon 09: bedroom window)

morning walks are always hopeful..
Every cloud has a silver lining. But this time, its the clouds that i want. There are some heavy clouds set over the eastern skies..at 8.30 a.m.
Finally !
The crows are behaving their usual odd monsoon way. Looking fully wet and stupid as hell. That's a great sign :) monsoon walks, monsoon talks, monsoon chais, monsoon almost-drenched ccd conversations, monsoon fiction books, monsoon romances.. Can you smell the earth? What about monsoon poker sessions ! I'm sure the gangal duo is showing thumbs up ! Hail monsoons !

-rt

origin of the word monsoon : arabic word mausim which actually means season

monsoon 2008 : home
courtesy : iloveu doll and the raindrop (for posing) , aarthi kannan

&^#$%#%@%%@%

2009-06-06T14:40:00.008+05:30

<<<>

i can't be sensible anymore. well, atleast more sensible than i've been.

i don't wanna be so careful with the words i choose, where i tread...oh blah ! who the hell cares, anyway ?

i'm not writing some 'think about' post this time. cuz i'm tired of waiting to write till my brains switch on. so dont blame me if this post is crap (as i'd warned you previously)

have you ever been idle and actually googled stuff like 'timepass' or 'what should i do when i'm free'

well, i have.the results were disastrous, nowhere close to what i wanted to do.

never mind,cuz i wasn't actually idle. i was just too crabbed with the idea of finishing off the things i have to. i'm an idle old girl with lots of work, lots of unwillingness to do her work, hardly any time to waste, and yet here i am, writing total rubbish !

you've no idea why ? me neither.

i've to make a gift i'd promised a friend, i've to complete my driving lessons, my music lessons, i've half taken up all the possible sports and left them hanging around, i've been wanting to go to corbett since i dont know when. and i've time to do all this, yet no time

everytime something comes up, i avoid it saying "i've to study"

hahahah. what Crap

believe me, i've been saying that for one whole month and i don't even know the color of my textbooks. nevertheless, i'm halfheartedly going to try. cuz my other half heart is all over the world, traveling to dream destinations like monaco, stockholm, las vegas, and sanfrancisco.

oh by the way, a friend of mine has suggested something great to watch

try getting ur hands on 'monty python'..i nearly died laughing at it. i think i'm gonna go and buy this stuff

and waste more time. and rush up an alarming blood-pressure the week before exams.

-rt

the story of 'same'

2009-02-26T21:57:00.006+05:30

when no two persons
no two trees
no two moments
no two planets
no two atoms
can be the same....

how can the way each one of us thinks, be the same at two different points in time?

change is the order of life.
the sooner we realize this, the easier it will be to get over words like 'hypocrisy'

la tormenta

2009-01-28T16:28:00.007+05:30

one thing that definitely appeals to all of us.
conversation.
but when it gets boring what do you do ? sure, we all go through this at one point of time.
then you get up and leave for all hell may break loose or the floor may burn behind you. and still you wouldnt turn back to look. 'cuz thats the power of boring conversation.

ok here's the thing:

people are talking. (not friends, but may be even at work or school..or just with your peers)
you're just sitting around getting bored, contributing to the conversation would be the last thing on your mind. suddenly.
not a rare thing..is it ? if it's a nicely gripping maze of boredom, the yawns that can turn out of this one are phenomenal.
of course, it wouldn't too long before you find yourself begging god under your breath for a helicopter right next to your chair.

i'm not a conversation queen..i'm rather the silent wanderer with the weirdest of thoughts flying in my own world. sometimes i'm in the middle of a conversation, lost, wondering what the color of the underwear that each person is wearing could be (ultra low waists save me the trouble but damage my imagination though)
it amuses me. a good lot does that (to all my friends reading this post, now you know why you should have me involved in you talks)

but i still can't talk to turn heads for nuts.
i walk if i want to turn heads..but i'll tell you about that later
that's where it's at.
i cant make for-the-sake-of-it conversation. i'd rather talk and listen for long hours about the political system if it interested me. or maybe about how birds behave when they migrate. or the minuscule details of the machine that makes chocolate chips. and the sorts.
offbeat, yeah. we are all offbeat in that peculiar sense of liking something that's unique for each one of us.
i can get over involved, even mesmerized, in a conversation that suits me. and so a suitable conversationalist.
but never for too long in the same crap about day to day life. fortunately for me, this is deja vous for all of us
(yet ironically, the chatter-nonsense types are also the one who spend most time in front of the tv listening to more hogwash than they can talk. i 'wow' that)

what would you do ?
-change the topic
-or play along for the heck of it
-or keep quiet and continue to get bored
-or get yourself involved in a game on your mobile
-or get up and take off ?
-or quietly draw one person in the corner into talking about what pleases you (oh, this nosy type, i tell you)

i've a kind solution.
if you're really bored and you cannot do a thing about it, just imagine. involve your mind in something funny about the people around you and give in to a giggle when you need it. that way, self-involvement is a great thing. if you can get away, do something with your time. don't give in to useless conversations just because you have nothing to do.
of course, a good outing...or a massage would prove more useful.

a note for people who enjoy talking rubbish : i salute you, and i wish i could do what you do. cuz then i wouldnt get so bored

yet, the best things in life don't always involve talking ;)

happy conversation-ing !

dedi to...the people who need it

2008-10-06T12:24:00.005+05:30

pepper is good..

pepper spray is better :)
effective. revengeful.

cheers !

the eyes of the beholder

2008-03-25T16:24:00.008+05:30

I've come across just too many dramatic statements by famous authors and intellects, that don't really define beauty.
They just come along, one after another and confuse the heck out of you and me, till we drop this excellent idea of wanting to pursue the real meaning of beauty.

Marie Stopes said : ''You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul's own doing''
Awestruck.
what truth !

but then Jean Kerr popped up and slipped another quote in : "I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?"
Laughter. No arguments.
What truth, again.

And of course, like you, i too have come across a lot of scoop on how beauty is brain and vice-versa. That concept has never failed to impress me or make me think. Yet, i wonder why that connecting word 'is' is actually there between two words like beauty and brain which can be independently appreciated. It's an extraneous connection.

I personally have always been of the opinion that beauty is of little importance without intellect.
But bad genes, my dear, are bad genes. Intellect is no consolation for that.

Einstein wasn't the best looking man on the planet, but he was definitely one of the most intelligent. Point noted, Your Honour. We all want to be the smart ones.
Yet, in this world where people are criticizing external beauty so ruthlessly and so many of us seem to disregard it with apparent unimportance....
why does each one of us, no matter how minimally, still want to contribute to better physical appearance and grooming ? here's the truth : beauty may be skin deep, but it bothers us to the core.

Beauty is skin deep. YES. is there a problem ?
Alright, let it be skin deep. However deep it is, it's only the skin that shows it.
So wouldn't it be rather stupid to have that beauty all the way down to your flesh?

And then, for those of us who go around arguing about whether beauty is inner beauty or is it just limited to what we look like...
let's make things simpler for ourselves. there are different kinds of beauty.
physical beauty is what pleases our superficial senses, vision and touch.
inner beauty, as we call it, is what pleases our deep sense, feeling.

Sharon stone is beautiful. Mother Teresa is beautiful. Princess Diana is beautiful. Mahatma Gandhi is beautiful. George Clooney is beautiful. Abdul Kalam is beautiful.
With due respects to each person, all of us have our own, special charm. It would be unfair to run either down, be it outer or inner beauty.

Let's not console ourselves for things that we do not have, and instead spend more time learning to love ourselves for the lovely things that we have. Loving oneself makes one beautiful more than anything ever can..

....no title needed

2008-02-19T11:40:00.001+05:30

"frankly, i'm not sure people have the brains to manage the technology they've got"

- hobbes

adonis...away i go

2008-02-10T20:56:00.001+05:30

charm is a confusing and confused thing....
so beautiful, and yet so devouring
itself doesn't know what it intends to do. it tries to be sardonic, sadistic and finally is too goddamn successful.
i feel it..
i'm CHARMED.

here i come yet again

2008-02-10T20:24:00.002+05:30

And we Laugh.
that's just the side everyone gets to see.
when you cry, you cry alone.. not because the world wants to leave u alone but you're too scared to be called a sissy..
I cry. In front of the world..
let them all know that they can frustrate me sometimes too.
see if people have the guts to accept the fact that they can piss you off sometimes.
most of them dont.. that's why they try to make it alright by laughing their not-a-penny-worth's-ass off like they did nothing wrong.
how informational !..sorta makes me glad

infinite emotions...all packed into 1400 cc of gray matter. how unfair !!!

anti rules - part II

2008-01-29T21:55:00.000+05:30

it feels good to break rules and norms.

i'm not saying this out of sheer adrenaline. or agitation. or teenage revolt.
having crossed the second decade of my life, i can boldly say that there's still a little bit of rush, but so much more of calm.
teenage has been lovely...with all those crazy hormones going haywire, god knows how we thought what we did was always right.
of late, i've thought quite a few things over...the usual...and i've been wondering how you actually set yourself free...not physically or mentally, but free in the sense of the word. completely free..

we've been just too weak to even realise that our minds are so fiercely bound by ropes like false guilt and taboo.
nothing is a taboo, that comes to you naturally.
when you come around to gather the right mental strength, you'll know to go with nature..the nature of your feelings, your emotions, your life... and feel incredibly beautiful about it.

we were born to live..
let's live it up, baby !

aarthi

gar lic ky ..

2007-11-28T16:44:00.000+05:30

a friend once said potatoes are better gifts for lovers than roses...
bourgeoisbuffoon.blogspot.com/2007/04/est-nuovo-rosa.html

interesting, right ?

but hey...if we can boil down to potatoes then why not garlic ?
it's stronger, it has 'essence', shoots don't sprout around and create a mess...and of course, it lives much longer than a potato.
from an angle, garlic is closer to looking heart-shaped than a potato is.
give garlic the credit, man

because gifting ur sweetheart a garlic, says :
''hey darling, you're plain to look at...and even if the world finds u stinky...
on the long run, you're great for my heart !!!'' :)

hail, garlic !

to a friend who made me think..

2007-11-09T23:26:00.000+05:30

does humility take you where nothing else can ?

is arrogance just a shield for those who cower feebly behind a low self-esteem ?

is the superman IMAGE what people think, makes them gain respect, without even knowing who a real superman is...maybe the real superman is more than just a macho guy who wears his red underwear outside his pants.
maybe we should learn to bow down.. it's far more difficult than we imagine..it also makes us stronger than we imagine.

pride has a fall,when someone reaches it and pushes you down
humility takes you so high up that no one even gets there, leave alone pushing you down.

-aarthi

suffocating 'freedom of thought'...

2007-11-01T12:46:00.003+05:30

Gregory David Roberts opens brilliantly in Shantaram,
" It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what i know about love and fate, and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while i was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realized somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in the shackled, bloody helplessness, i was still free.
Free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn't sound like much, I know. But in that flinch and bite of the chain, when it's all you've got, that freedom is a universe of possibility "

Brilliance, I'll say. Unadulterated.
There's nothing better that can define the freedom that the mind has.

It shows that no potential mind barrier like right or wrong, good or bad, ethical or unethical, or even the feeling of revenge can stop you from thinking and doing what you want to.
There are no red signals or speed breakers. There are no rules.

Rules make people hypocrites. Big hypocrites.
Have you managed to accept rules, in the depths of your being ? Have you ever realised how futile they are and how they weaken your mind ?
Rules are meaningless stamps. They are loud expressions of a certain majority that we pretend to follow, however unwillingly.
They deny a huge array of choices in life. They strangle infinite pathways reducing them to a few and close our thinking at some point of time.

Where there are unnecessary rules, there's confinement.
Where there's confinement, there's hypocrisy.
All this, just because freedom of thought is far more unaffected as compared to freedom of expression which, hides and changes depending on the people who hang around.

Rules makes our opinions untrue and fluid. We're scared of speaking out and being ourselves.
We're moving towards losing self-acceptance.
We're losing dimensions of our identity with every moment that passes by and filling all the empty spaces with meaningless rules.
The same rules stop us, deceive us and destroy us.

The next time you write on a ruled sheet of paper..you'll grasp the degree of confinement..
an empty sheet of paper gives you the freedom to do what you can't do with neatness on a ruled sheet of paper..
the only difference being, life is more than just paper.

Food for thought is... think whether you're thinking often enough about what you really want to think, or are there rules even in your mind ?

in case you're wondering what conviction is about, if it isn't about rules...conviction and rules stand miles apart. they're parallel but nowhere close to being called 'similar' because, conviction is what you make..meaningfully, by yourself and for yourself. and they're what you should really stand by.

''Where the MIND is without fear, and the head is held high...''
lets learn.

-aarthi

i....eye....

2007-03-23T09:16:00.000+05:30

Ahhhh (stretching)...... it's been such a long time since i thought...i wrote....it's amazing how some of us don't find good time to do things worth doing..things that we like
nevertheless, let's get started.

the last couple of months have made me think about a lot more than i've wanted to realise...
a lot about the people i spend my time with..the place i need to spend most of my time at..
everything IS definitely happening too quickly. faster than i can even think
but what i've been thinking is what i've been realising..

Isn't it very true that our eyes are the key to our hearts ? or maybe the keyhole....
either way you'll never miss seeing what's inside

''There is a road from the eye to heart that does not go through the intellect.''
(-G.K.Chesterton)

I'll bet. twice.

True happiness shows if it's in your eyes...they sparkle with ecstasy..and deeper inside, peace

from elation to anger, from love to hatred, from virtue to vice, from appreciation to jealousy, from fortitude to fear,
from positive to negative energy...eyes are undoubtedly the only door to the truth - fortunately or unfortunately, due to the fact that our eyes are best connected to the conscience.

Conscience is the God of it all. it tells you what you should be doing, what you shouldn't be doing, and when you still go ahead and do that something which you shouldn't be doing, even just lying... it flashes in the eye and gives you away.

Eye language...is probably the best language known to mankind

the next time you're in a situation that demands the truth,
don't you think you should watch out for all those eyes ?

generally erratic

2006-12-30T18:21:00.000+05:30

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody, save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
- Mark Twain

hobbes says....

2006-10-29T17:59:00.001+05:30

''somethings just don't need the thought that people give them''

definitely worth thinking about :)

the green light at the traffic signal

2006-09-10T16:06:00.000+05:30

On an afternoon of free flowing thoughts, my fingers are delightfully typing away the thoughts of a day in the week that just passed..
The story about a little green light, that helped me sort my life.

Before i go on to it, here are 2 questions you ought to ask yourself :

1. Do you REALLY stop, and take time out for yourself and your problems ?

to think about all the amazing things you have..when you needn't have been lucky enough ? to think of your problems and find a way to solve them..

your problem may be SMALL..
or something really BIG
and most commonly as it occurs, it seems small to the rest of the world, and only you know how much it annoys the life out of you.

anyhow, it's just there..hanging around..
and you claim to think about it. but if you think about it at all the wrong times..
-during lectures
-at work
-when you're out for a coffee with friends
-or maybe out on a date
-when you're spending that rare 'quality time' with your family or a loved one..
does it get you anywhere ?
NO.
your lecturer sounds like a moron...your coffee tastes bitter, your date turns out a bozo, and your family doesn't seem to understand you.
do you realise how substantially perspectives change when you think about your problems at wrong times in the day ?

it may sound stupid when i say that it's better we don't think about our problems at particular times of the day..the reason being, the mind's not really under the control of what you wish you could always think of.
on the contrary, reality shows you that your problems occupy a huge chunk of your consciousness. you keep thinking about them and magnifying them, blowing them out of proportions till your life seems to be suspended at the edge of a cliff..

2. More importantly, do you think when you have to think ?
Do you think of what troubles you before you go to sleep ? do you think of it when you get back home from college or from work ?
think when you're alone. it helps you think better.
think about it when your mind is clear. when you're low, never come to a conclusion regarding problems..
just phone a friend and talk.
if that's not possible,take a small walk..you'll be cool again.

My little experience :

last friday, on my way back home from college, there was an unending traffic line at sion..
and to make things better, my green signal was really short.. talk about bad luck.
the GREEN light appeared and the deafening honking began..i was, like what it seemed, miles away from the signal. my cab moved with the infinitely long traffic line for a few seconds..and the RED took over
the whole process repeated twice and I was quite frustrated at the end of it.
after a lifetime of waiting, we crossed the green light..
strangely, it seemed to relate to my problem..that though i was crabbed with the frequency of the signal, i knew, all the way, that i was definitely going to get that green somehow.

my problem with life, was my impatience with regard to my expectations..
and this, is the real problem with most of us.
you don't wait long enough for what you want. you don't wait till the situation bends your way..

so, here's what you'd like to be reminded about..

When you want something to happen, just work for it. And wait.
put your best foot forward..
It has to go your way, because there's no other way it can.

Things may seem to stop you or take you backward, but it's upto you to have faith in yourself.
I totally believe in the green light at the traffic signal. Do you ?

-Aarthi

just to get you interested..

2006-09-02T10:40:00.001+05:30

heya !

it's a common TOP hobby today
you may definitely go ahead if you like.....
PHOTOGRAPHY

i've figured most people do like photography
it sure is an expensive hobby..
but it's something that everybody enjoys..clicking and getting clicked ;)

with patience, time and effort, you gain the experience that you'll need.
it's about capturing moments and stop.ping them in time..with memories that can never be destroyed

the laughter, the tears, your baby's first smile
flowers, snow, beaches..dew drops..butterflies..
houses..cars, still life
people..festivals..
what is it that a photograph cannot capture ?

canon powershot G2 and A70 are good to start off with, if digital photography is where it's at.

Easy photography..to start off with
National Geographic photography website
it provides amateurs and beginners with the basic view, without having to go through a big intro
this one's helped me a lot..absolute basics

listed below, are a few websites that i found quite interesting..

Advanced
alex wilson photography
an amazing website with a good variety of photos that revolves mostly around artistic photography

mike moats' gallery : http://www.pbase.com/mgm123/mike_moats

Landscape photography
mark meyer
beautifully taken pictures of landscapes and still-life..
go, have a look

if you have other good websites to recommend, feel free to leave a comment !

- aarthi

the first breeze that blew across the bay..

2006-07-13T22:55:00.001+05:30

you've wanted your first relationship to start as smooth as the love between Prince Charming and Cinderella...and thereafter work out as ''happily ever after'' ? but finding yourself living in a twist ?

welcome home !

you're not the only one
it's just that all of us hope for the easy way out, though just a few know how difficult it is to find our soul mate.
although we hope we can like and overcome, rather than tolerate each other's shortcomings..
although we feel we can cross over and ignore incompatibilities..
it's all easier said than done

people who are...well, more practical, can i say, or more experienced about relationships...don't really care about how many relationships it takes to find the right one. life is anything but a coincidence.
and out of the 2 billion people of the opposite sex, what chance have we of finding the so-called right one ?

fortunately or not so, life isn't that easy. first relationships are the ones that demand a special attachment and memory. as much as people may dream to want to be together forever, in the very first go, things have a fair chance of not working out as expected.

let's get real.
i totally admire people who found their lifelong loves first, are happy and still live with them. this is a matter of pure coincidence, congrats. I'm done talking about you.
with due respects to these exceptions, i can boldly tell you that the world is made up of people who've mostly been in more than a single serious relationship.
that's solely because of the fact that it's all a gamble.

first relationships are generally due to sparks, attraction, and elementary feelings. most people tend to make a mistake here, by thinking it's love. (not to mention that we learn from our mistakes) their physical needs cloud their emotional needs, the needs to satisfy ego, self-respect etc.
the sparks are anyway extinguished in a few months or a year.
that's when all the small things you liked about the other person start to irritate you.
that's when the things they do seem to target your 'ego'
that's when you realize you made the biggest mistake in the whole darned world.
that's when you realize you're sobbing for the wrong person

there are a few people whom i know...who happen to be prolonging lifeless, meaningless first-time relationships..
for the sake of the world-just to show the world that they've achieved a big deal by tolerating each other for half-a-decade.. little realizing that they're not happy, that they're cheating themselves..(the world doesn't give two hoots about what you do....it's all about yourself. be yourself. like what you like. do what you want.)
for the sake of the habit that the other person has become in their life.. it's all a matter of habit. the phone conversations at half past 2 (a.m.), the shoulder to cry on, for things that never needed to be cried about.. the couple lunches, the dinners of which food was the only interesting part..
for the sake of their 'i-am-feeling-lonely-and-depressed' phase that they fear after breaking up..

then...
who is the right one ?
how do you know it's the right one ?
does our opinion of the 'right one for me' change over time ?

'who is the right one ?'...is a question that cannot be answered to the point.
of course you know, that only you can answer it most closely.
- we do give descriptions of what we want in our ideal match...but little do we realise that none of us really know what we want unless we see a manifestation of it.
we prefer laying our eyes on someone whom we've already met and mould our 'wants' according to what they are and then we realise we're thinking, ''ohh wow..you're the one i'm looking for....''

it's easier for a girl to MEET a warm, charming, intelligent guy and LIKE him, rather than picture someone completely IMAGINARY having all these qualities and like Mr.I-exist-in-wonderland.
something similar applies to guys.

how do you know if he/she is the right one ?
you won't know instantly.
it's all a matter of time. it takes time to peel out their petals and see what they have to offer you inside..see if they're really what you wanted.
and to all those who want to argue saying , ''no, no. not at all. i'll know my right person when i see him/her..'' please, get your feet back on the ground.

does our opinion of the right one for me change, with time ?
yes it does. it really does.
I'm not talking about something drastic...basic ideas do not change.
you might start liking people of a different profession at another given time. you might start appreciating people who are settled abroad, though you'd once thought that you'd never want to go abroad.
you may want a partner who drinks 6 vodkas bottoms-up now, but three years down the lane, you might want a teetotaler..
it's all a question of time.
of how your likes and dislikes change.
of what your life demands out of you.

never give up hope. love happens after a long, hard journey.
don't live for others.
don't hang on to your ego..it makes you self-destructive without your knowledge.
don't live to show the world how high your toleration meter can go.
don't compromise on your needs in the beginning or you'll regret it later.
and if you can help it, don't fall in love

after all, it's not just about the first breeze that blows across the bay...

and definitely read this small article...go : andrew boyd's 'loving the wrong person'

-aarthi kannan

what say ?

2006-07-01T17:34:00.000+05:30

gordian casanova

2006-06-26T18:14:00.001+05:30

thought i heard you say something yeah
when i turned my face and tried to shy
did i see a triumphant glint from the corner of my eye,
in your eye ?

now that fear is out
and i've nowhere to go
are you upbeat about the fact that
i've nothing left to show...

after you've stripped me of all my cover...
leaving my feelings out in the biting cold
what can i do if i cannot help but admit
that you're bold..

if i'm in awe, and you're in heaven
the seventh one of all those above
if i'm stuck in wonder, you're stuck in repletion
why isn't this - falling in love ?

taking a few steps back
in the road of my memory that retains your seclusion
i can recollect words which you twisted
cleverly into my conclusion

claiming every bit of peace
that rested in my silent mind
you ran, stealing every thought of order
so intriguing, no matter how unkind

so, my dear gordian casanova
here's a request i've to make to you
don't stop troubling the reasons of my living
come closer, and give me a clue..

-aarthi

climbing out of teenage (personal)

2006-06-22T20:17:00.000+05:30

i've long passed the age of raving about how cute celebs are.....or fancying them :P

but there's something about john mayer that can never get me bored
dunno if it's his voice... or the way he plays his guitar...

your body is a wonderland - one of my all time favourite songs from the time it was released, 4-5 yrs back.
the music is easy, lyrics are cute and light ----''so you wanna play with me, huh ?'' kinda thing.

it reminds me of a crush i had on a cute guy from college french class, sometime in the second half of my 12th grade..a childish crush..useless attraction, which was reciprocated, but didnt get me anywhere ! and this song is the one i listened to at that time..which got me into some of my best moods, and now it brings back some of the sweetest memories.

as sally from coupling says, if you have to remember a song that relates to some good part of your life and you'll remember it all the way through, it better be good.

some good, childish memories associated with songs i've heard in that period of my teenage ....
9th grade -

i lay my love on you, somebody needs you, soledad, puzzle of my heart
truly madly deeply, i knew i loved you, affirmation, santa monica - savage garden
reminds me of akshata teaching me a few words in french like 'hi', the f word, and i love you'...and how to write a love letter to mark !!!

10th grade -

whats your flava-craig david; complicated-avril lavigne
reminds me of the school christmas concert, and the arabic dance we did. and how my class teacher commented on me in that damned short blouse..'my dear, your equator is exposed' and ranjani and i burst into a unstoppable laughter for the next half hour...till the dance started

11th grade -

rendezvous-craig david (the monsoons of 11th grade)
it reminds me of alliance francais classes, and smita ma'am...one of my best teachers, who taught me french at alliance...and all the nonsense that natasha and i used to talk, driving smita crazy in every class.

latter half of 11th grade -

romeo and juliet - dire straits
i've a very funny memory associated with this lovely song - it's about a very sweet, nerdy guy friend who liked me, but we didnt go out, cuz i couldnt recipocate

baya baya, sambadiago - safri duo

every breath you take - the police
my junior college memories with all the fun that i had with sanaea and manali bunking lectures, running away from lecturers, spending hours doing tasteless coffees at ccd, and waiting for samosas at gk

hotel california - eagles
a few stupid seniors of mine, who were behind my life for an intro, in junior coll.. i dont understand the concept of an intro. what intro ? what the *##@ ??

so yesterday - hilary duff
the singing auditions of our junior college festival, for which sanaea and i practised this song. and to our disappoinment, the semi finals judge turned out to be
lilavati better known as log b****
lila baby, who taught us to read log tables and had crush on maths prof burgundy dude @ the age of 50. whoever said marriage is a bar to have new crushes :P
lila....who hated sanaea for doing a proxy, and hated me for being her friend
oh lila...where art thou ?
ok listen.. we made up stories on how lila emits harmful radiation wherever she walks. those things seemed too funny, then. it got us laughing. then it got her angry. then it got us thrown out of class.

also associated with this song, is this memory an annoying senior ''insect'' from jun college- salim, who was a bigtime stalker and i did about anything to avoid him. so..when he tried his flirting net with sanaea, that too an hour before an important exam when san and i were studying together at coll, she slapped his hand and pinched him, and i swear he never dared to talk to her after that)
AND raj sandwichwala alias the college-toilet-user, and how annoying he was. and how sannu would starve for lunch but never eat his sandwiches...
memories of our occasional loose-motions, and this time the credit goes to : Dabeliwala.
potato-man was remarkable too ;)

rapture - IIO one of the songs played at the first college social i'd attended @ fire'n'ice with sanaea, manali and rajashri...about how we changed clothes at her maasi's place after college...rina maasi who was kind enough to make us large yummy cold coffees every time

learning to fly - pink floyd memories of kihim beach....trip with archu, jay, nazi and shrini. maybe there was someone else too. or was it someTHING ?

coming back to life - pink floyd memories of this superhot indian-german guy named nikhil...i saw him at techfest 2004, iit-b...he saw me..i looked into his deep,green eyes and then we both got lost
and then i heard this song for the first time in my zizu's room

wind of change - scorpions
like a stone - audio slave (i like the song)

12th grade

sultans of swing, tunnel of love, your latest trick, walk of life - dire straits (reminds me of my 12th grade tuts)

your body is a wonderland - john mayer i've told you what this songs means to me :)

rock the party - bombay rockers>
reminds me of abhishek, the craziest person on earth, my lab partner, and anybody who knows me well, definitely knows about this guy.
he was a mad chap, who mugged amazingly well, almost always topped the class, whom i ragged endlessly throughout the year, but he always helped me. even when i beat him up in the chemistry lab for peeping into my journal slyly. patil sir loved to drag him by his ears. i remember the hurry that he always was in, and it always seemed to me as though he wanted to race me with the experiments. and the child that i've always been, i was game for that race anytime

i used to scare him off with hot capillary tubes, threaten to pour H2S solution on his hands..thats the only way i kept him away.
and he is by far,the craziest person i've met. people think i was the least lucky person to have such a partner, but nothing was as entertaining as this guy's goofups

>turn me on - kevin little it reminds me of a crazy whacko, who thought he was a big dude, but wasnt, but a bigtime casanova who sent me flirtaceous smses all day, for a few months, and stopped when he knew he wasnt getting anywhere.

sanaea made my 11th and 12th grades unforgettable. with our stupid, childish fights every now and then, we've grown through to be great friends and i'm comfortable sharing anything and everything with her now ;)

13th grade

this year is kind of over now....and it has been the loveliest year of my life so far.......
ironically, it's been the loneliest year too...there are lows about that :( there are lots of songs that i have to list. but none actually remind me of anything right now. it's all too early to get 'reminded'.
only to mention that there are a few good people who have made this year lovely. and i just hope they never leave me !

-aarthi

Your Body is a Wonderland

we've got the afternoon
you've got this room for two
one thing I've left to do
discover me discovering you

one mile to every inch of
your skin like porcelain
one pair of candy lips
and your bubblegum tongue

cause if you want love
we'll make it
swim in a deep sea
of blankets
take all your big plans
and break 'em
this is bound to be awhile

your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder I'll use my hands
your body is a wonderland

something about the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillow case
you tell me where to go though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it

if you want love
we'll make it
swim in a deep sea
of blankets
take all your big plans
and break 'em
this is bound to be awhile

Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder I'll use my hands

damn, baby
you frustrate me
I know you're mine all mine all mine
but you look so good it hurts sometimes

your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder I'll use my hands
your body is a wonderland

honey, let's listen a bit..

2006-05-24T11:48:00.001+05:30

It's so often that we wish the human race was gifted with ears that could listen.. as much as we wonder why most of us have been gifted with mouths that can jabber all day long with no complaints.....

the only thing in the world we probably listen to, without talking back to it, is music. and dads.

listeners are a rare species... those who listen to you when you Crib and Criticize, Cry and Complain, and return all of them with a sensible solution..a hope..a belief.. those who assure you with a trusting smile, and take your hand in theirs and say they believe in you and know that you can make it, even when you feel it's the end of your world...
those who empathize with your situation and shoulder your head, even when you deny the fact that you want sympathy, knowing fully well that you need it more than anything else.

listeners...come in packages called best friends, and psychiatrists. non-listeners come in packages called 'every second person you meet'

men can be listeners to girlfriends, and later, non-listeners to their wives
women...? no comments.

when you come across someone who is low in life, chances are that it's due to their loneliness. some people have the ability to put up with being alone, indulging themselves with activities other than those involving 'others'. some people just don't.
the root cause of people's loneliness, is when they cannot be heard by someone. most of them frequent phrases like "nobody understands me..'' this can almost always be taken for granted as ''nobody listens to me..'' or ''I've nobody to hear what I've to say..''

it gives great relief to a person, when you can hear them out, when you can lend not just your auditory senses, but also your attention to a few moments of what they talk, irrespective of whether they're happy, sad, manic or bored.

listening, again, doesn't mean you sit there mute.
listening is an interactive conversation, dominated by one person.. and made interactive by the listener.
attentiveness goes hand-in-hand with listening. if you're 'really listening', it can be translated as - you're paying attention. (heard that before in your classroom?)

human relationships are extremely fragile and a priority for every one of us, and life is too short to experiment everybody and find someone matching your tailored needs.
ultimately, listening is one of the main keys and an easy solution that can turn relationships into lifetime-bonds.

listening, is not a compromise.
it is the righteous, primary function of our ears.....which we cannot allow to become vestigial

wardrobe malfunction...

2006-04-20T21:19:00.001+05:30

talk of the town : wardrobe malfunction.

real problem : is it really a top priority for newspapers ?

bigger problem : where is creative writing headed ?

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION - a smart term introduced by an american pop singer..if he's not american, i'm sorry. i dont care where he belongs.
now it's noticeably happening in places all over the planet.

whose mistake is it ? the designer's ? the model's ? the fashion show's ?
currently, there's something up here saying it could've been done with a motive behind it.
okay people, let's face it.
just asking you for an honest opinion....is it our business ? is it worth being called news ?

newspapers....they're dissecting the lady's profile, family history, phylogeny...and finding spanish meanings of her name !

it's about time people started writing articles with some relevance to what really happens and stopped writing ridiculous articles expecting themselves to be appreciated for something that makes no sense to anybody, including themselves.

find a better way to write articles for God's sake ! or rather, find better things to write articles on
wake up.

poison ivy

2006-04-13T10:24:00.001+05:30

Poison ivy

A devastating charm, and that's your smile,
that's the charm i want on my lips,
but you steal it away in hidden glory,
grab it and evade like pirate ships

No room for kindness, no place for comfort,
no time for a chase, and the game is tough
you treat my heart like it's out on lease,
as you play with my love, but you can't get enough

Jet black eyes, and i look into those
they tell me something i simply cannot take,
A killer smile charming me from across
with magnetic confidence that just cant shake

Eyes which sparkle like deep red wine,
with a euphoric glint that makes me lose
no inner conflict, yet my way isn't clear,
the road is rough, but it's the road i choose

Devil in human form, thats who you are
it's clear from the way you look at me
with eyes that burn and flame with desire
but this game is more complicated than what i see

You're the devil i want to love,
and you're the thief whose heart i'll steal
you're the only man who is worth
the nights that i dream and the way that i feel

I can't resist these fervent desires
i'm a woman with only one reason to live
the reason is you, the reason is your love
there's no other reason i have to give

poison me into that magic world of yours
take me away just cuz i'm in love with you
there's no other reason we've met in this world
so be my adam and love me true

-AARTHI

-

karma defined..

2006-04-11T11:44:00.000+05:30

karma....is one of the most amazing words that sums up the complete human living.
it is a sanskrit word which means.... what you give is what you get.

why did our predecessors say ''be good.'' ?
that's only because of the fact that your deeds are somewhat like a pingpong ball. if you aim at the ground, it'll aim back at you as high or even higher. so, if your deeds are good, you've a good life going out there.
karma isn't deep philosophy. it's just a small understanding of our life, and how to make it better.

i can give you a strange analogy between science and philosphy..(it's upto you to understand)

according to thermodynamics, ''energy can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be converted from one form to another.''
karma believes in something similar...''We all do something every minute of our lives, the consequences of which we cannot escape. The consequences of your deed depends upon it's quality. Whether it is going to be good or bad, is decided by the nature of your deed.''
for example, if you do something bad, the same bad thing might just not happen to you. it might be equally bad in some other way. anyhow, you never escape.
of course, the same applies to doing good, too

so, do what you think is good, and something that's good in your opinion, invariably enters your destiny.

one of my first efforts...

2006-04-11T11:30:00.001+05:30

''karma''

There’s an uprising,
somewhere, deep inside my heart
I’m thankful to the force,
which drew us apart.

I’m far away, from that cold blood
which runs in your veins,
from a guilty heart
and a conscience full of stains

Oh, I knew...
every time that you lied, I knew.
That moment on,
only the hatred in my heart grew

now I’m pointing my finger
at your worthless mind
when you couldn’t see
tears of the saddest kind.

I laugh at you now,
you're alone, all alone
and I’m watching the hell around you,
you'll mourn.

Every tear
which rolled down my cheek,
will take revenge;
I’m just not that weak.

I can’t help but recollect
False promises, which you made
Leaving them all around me
Memories can never fade…

Those millions of times
you stabbed me with your knife
my heart cried red blood
I cried out for life

Now the cold steel edge
has turned your side
the water is high
and I’m with the tide

You've lost your battle,
with the love for you I had
you proved to be evil,
you proved to be bad

The world
hasn't seen me laugh more than this
here's a token of hatred for you,
a cold, cold kiss

A kiss of goodbye,
a whisper telling you away
for every moment of torture,
I’m sorry, but you'll pay

Run along
with your dirty heart and tricky mind
I’m laughing at you,
till your destiny, you find.

-Aarthi

i've been waiting for............

2006-03-31T17:28:00.003+05:30

he...isnt very far away..
a person, a godfather who always encourages me, and makes me feel my best

on my mind, all the time, is this worry of where i'm headed now...
somehow, what the world said never seemed to matter to me, although sometimes, i did feel bad that i had to take time off and slog it out again, just to begin my career...
yet, i'm glad i'm not one of those fools who are easily satisfied with what they get, and do not aim to get what they want.. or any of those people out there, who just dont appreciate a wait, and hurry up their lives into a useless degree and a life they didn't really want..or just because they're too old to hav a second chance...the grapes are sour.

i became aware of what i am, when i spoke to him,
when he told me that i'm doing the right thing,all the doubts and fears in my head cleared, and i was pretty sure i hadn't gone wrong....
i respect his words because he is intelligent, and i consider his words as well.

whats the big deal about all the poor losers who cannot understand the meaning of 'patience' ? i cannot listen to them...their words are empty. and so are their brains.

silence....is golden

2006-03-31T17:25:00.000+05:30

: silence is a word that hasn't been felt...by many people..; silence.........is such a beautiful thing....; the power of silence remains unmatched.
silence can make...or break..; for one whole year, i've had to endure more silence than anything, and it has also taught me more than anything in the world ever could.; silence isnt just the mere absence of noise.; it's the absence of a social environment, it's the absence of everything that tags along with a social urban life

this year has been a year when i've had to put my heart and soul into what i'm doing, what i'm aiming for.. because i know i'm not going to get another chance
and the very beginning was when real silence came into the picture; i missed all those outings....i never went shopping with friends, no more come-down-right-now lunches.... i hardly maintained any of those amazingly idiotic telephone conversations i used to have with them...everybody got busy with their own lives, i got busy with mine...
all i attended, were classes and tests. i did manage to make new friends there too, but it never felt the same. the atmosphere was different, professional and i felt more than just out-of-place

no one stopped me from going out, but somehow i didnt feel the need to do it
in the beginning i did feel a bit lonely, for i wasn't able to be in constant touch with my friends. i used to cry sometimes, i used to crib, and feel left out...
gradually, all the lonely feelings wore out. i got involved with my studies, i didn't get time to feel lonely
yet, silence only grew with time, and i knew that the only way to deal with it, was to accept it
only then i could realise that it's much nicer than it just seems
: i could learn a lot through it...; i got time to start thinking about my future

it left me more energetic and happier, at the end of the day ! it strengthened my hopes
it made me think better, think wiser. it made me think.

i avoided those small mistakes i'd made before, i gave a second thought to everything; i'd learnt to be patient; i had all the time in the world to take care of my problems, to deal with my feelings and understand who i really am; i'd finally found a stronger identity in myself...; i admit...it's been a lonely journey, but now i'm happy
and i'm strong enough to do without somebody's help in this world.; i haven't got what i really want, and who i really want; i dont have all my desires fulfilled, nor have i achieved my goal as yet
yet, i'm happy.
on the inside, i feel light..

-aarthi

explicitly confidential

2006-03-31T16:56:00.000+05:30

what would it take to realise that....
there are just so many things that can pierce right through our minds and read the most private parts of our conscience ..

in a recent speech by a genius and cybernetics-scientist, Prof. Kevin Warwick, i realised where technology could take us 10 years down the line...it could take you to the innermost cell in the grey matter of the person sitting right next to you !!! wow...mind-reading..... ! mind-blowing, rather !!!!

my jaw dropped as low as this issue sounds far-fetched...but yes, i finally had to accept that all this could take place because its all a matter of time
however, the irony of it remains that we're not able to communicate mind-to-mind through mere telepathy, but that we're trying to use a chip as a mediator to achieve such feats...imagine....a chip--a handicraft by our brain

coming to think of it, Prof Kevin intends to experiment on himself.
in 2000 A.D., he proceeded with his project- ''cyborg''- part human, part computer
he planned on connecting a chip to his nervous system surgically, a chip that serves as the communicating medium between his nervous system and a computer, and then seeing what happens. so far, i havent heard of any mighty breakthrough regarding this experiment, but i believe that cyborg will fetch him success
some people say that he's some kind of lunatic trying to pull off a major stunt...i dont really think so

i feel, that one fine day, 10 or 100 years from now onwards, mind-reading with the help of technology will no more be a myth.

Sunday January 29, 2006 - 11:18pm

the 18th blossom....

2006-03-31T16:54:00.000+05:30

18, sounds...well... advertising...?!

i've turned 18....and, it's not an overnight journey to becoming more responsible..
in india, it's about crossing the first legal barrier in life...
i'm not happy, or sad.. it doesnt seem to make that much of a difference to the emotional aspect of it.
but one thing's for sure, i've started realising a change in myself in the last few months...it's a substantial change in a relatively short period of time !
every important thing has changed- my outlook towards life, people, the way i deal with people, what really interests me, who really interests me..
and of course, the big thing that i'm aiming for...and thats where my priority lies...where the very heart of my wishes lies..

i realise why 18 is a legal barrier... it involves a lot of difference in the way you start looking at life...
your hormones start taking a backseat.. so you think clearer, and start realising so much more.
adolescence hasnt completely ended though...i realise what a 15-year-old i turn into sometimes...like when i see clothes..or shoes...

but yeah, let me tell you frankly...now there's a rush inside me...when i say...i'm 18 ! :)
it's a whole new feeling- a feeling of freedom, a bit of grown-up-ness...excuse my english there

fact remains...i'm half adolescent...and i enjoy it thoroughly !
i turn 16 again when i look into the mirror and crib about blemishes on my face or when my hair looks limp and horse-tailey
call it silly...

but thats the way it is
oh, but my dad treats me like i'm still 14...how annoying !

-aarthi

confused..confused..

2006-03-31T16:43:00.000+05:30

aaah..i'm confused again
i'm possibly in every negative mood u can describe..
i feel irresposible, bugged, perplexed by the people around me, useless and...this makes a downer mood for me
i gotta get down to some serious studying otherwise i'll get nowhere
all this apart,
diwali was great...celebrating it our the new house made it even better :)
we had so many sweets...atleast 15 different sweets this time at home...and..truckloads of them
oboy..my sweet tooth has dissolved and run away and i'm too sick of anything sweet now
the classes for this week are over. the weekend's gonna be a quick runaway to bangalore..the week's basically packed with work to do
so..now i'm gonna be a good girl and sit with my books for sometime, so that i dont forget what they are
goodbye,
and so sorry u wasted 3 minutes of ur small life reading this crap.
bye
aarthi

Tuesday November 8, 2005 - 10:38pm

howdy !

2006-03-25T19:16:00.001+05:30

hi everybody !!!
welcome to my world...where i'm gonna express, shout, scream and swear to the extent that i really want.
i'll be copy-pasting some of my previous blogs from my previous blog, right here
after that, i'm blogging here on a regular basis
brand new blog...
and i hope this one remains